I'm actually glad I wasn't as social at this school as much as my other schools because that made today a lot easier. I was surprised just how affected I was from saying good bye to my art teacher, she really did an impact on this year though. I'm not much for "final departures" to begin with, it's not that I get teary eyed, although with a select few that is the case, it's just that I feel an actual change, a change in state almost.
After a "final departure" we all transition into our "new beginnings" and I do believe that causes a bit of confusion with our emotions. Do we feel despair for leaving or joy for beginning? It's not possible to feel both at the same time and remain sane (haha just kidding). I have moved so many times in my life so I know the transition oh to well, but the one I am about to embark on has a different feeling to it. I suppose it's my realization that my dream of college is finally here.
Off and on I feel a little sad about leaving Michael here although I know he will visit me often. I guess it's fear, fear of the change that is inevitable. Although I know the past changes will not be reoccurring.. I have mixed emotions. I count down the day until my first day at Ringling and then I see us saying our last good byes and I realize that every time we see each other after that we are going to have an amazing love in our eyes. Longing for someone like we do even when we are just hours apart from seeing again, soon weeks? The longing will be intense but I do feel fortunate that I am the one leaving, as selfish as that may seem. With the new experiences ahead of me I will not feel such sadness as I did years ago, positive experiences will distract my over working mind. I have to admit, I worry about a person or two that he might hang out with a lot more, only because they are bad influences. (Now I sound like a mother :-P)
With every change I realize the little things I miss, leaving junior year and entering senior year meant Michael and I would be driving and as the months passed I missed our frolicking by the bike rack, morning trips to 7-11, and dancing by the street. It's last occurrence was only this morning and yet I already miss when he would wait for me outside of school and drive behind me on the way home. Even though with my cautious driving he probably hated being behind me haha.
Well a change in state has been completed, all I see before me is Ringling and I couldn't be more excited. I honestly can't explain my happiness for what comes in August (that understatement is humorous).
Graduation practice on Monday will be my last walk on Lake Brantley campus, and next Fridays graduation will be the last time I see their faces.
81 days, 23 hours, 47 mins, 40 seconds until first day of Orientation at Ringling.
And with that I say good day
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I know what you mean. I didn't cry either. I was just like wow this sucks. Now all i have to look forward to is working for the rest of my life. I guess it was just an after shock cause now i see there is so much more. And with the licence thing I know how you feel. I miss walking to johann's house and him meeting me half way and going to the park to hang out. The simple things that are no more. Now when I say "let's walk to the park" he says "lets drive" lol. But Congradulations on graduating. We will have fun the day after. We will take you out as your present.
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